Paulie O'Shea here. I'm Irish. I'm from New Jersey. I've been summoned to write words here about things I don't like, maybe some stuff I do like. That sounds good. I've also been told not to be profane, foul, or very offensive. That sounds less good. I'm being forced by Barry from Destrahan and Snakebite to abandon the vernacular I know and love for their Mickey Mouse grammar, castrated and devoid of force and power.
Total ****ing bull****, right? My great-grandfather didn't jump off the boat in New York to avoid dealing with all that Ellis Island garbage and go right to the pub with some friends from the old country so that 100 years later I could be told what words I can and cannot use in literary medium that was inconceivable to him at the time.
No, he did it because he hates lines, waiting, and dealing with people that are stupid/useless (guv'mint workers). He wanted a drink with his friends. And he was pretty sure he could swim.
Fortunately, his descendants saw fit to work hard and keep their battles with the drink private so as not to affect their professional lives. These stunning feats no doubt led to acquiring the resources necessary to provide Paulie O'Shea with a top notch education filled with big words, deep thinking, and a sense of entitlement and pomposity that is so important in the America of today.
So, you know, to be brief. Hi. How you doin? Hope you enjoy when I write, but really, I doubt I'll care if you don't. Please be advised if you voice your disapproval, I will promptly respond by asking you to die in a fire. Know that I have an Uncle Tutto who's a fire inspector in North Jersey who knows a thing or two about making arson look like an electrical fire. I'm just saying. You've been warned, and accidents happen.
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