Dear Charles Rangel,

Charlie. What's happening? Busy time for you now, I know, but I wanted to have a few words.

I want to start off by saying you are a hypocritical asshole and should die a very public and painful death.

I don't care about your body of work. I don't care about any of the good things you've done. Hitler did a lot of great things. He built roads. Schools. Pulled Germany out of their Weimar funk. Then, you know, he ****ed it all up by doing those other things that were...morally questionable.

I'm not saying you're in the same category as Hitler. You're worse. Hitler didn't exactly lie about what he was doing. He didn't say, 'No no, the Jews are really so nice, we love them. And all the other untermenschen, I want to send them to happy funtime camps where they can pick flowers and eat candy all day.' He was pretty damn clear that they were, ah, being liquidated.

But Charlie, you used your office in so many different illegal capacities. You misused the office and your influence to get subsidized housing and donations to various 'charitable' foundations of yours, foundations whose books will no doubt be pored over in the near future. You failed to pay taxes on property and income when you were chairman of the Ways and Means Committee, the very committee that deals with taxation. You allege innocence, though state you have already spend $2 million on your defense, with another $1 million apparently needed. What innocent and clean man needs $3 million to adequately defend himself? You know how much money it would take to clear me of tax fraud, right now? You're pissed that your law firm ditched your case. I'm sure the fact that you were clearly guilty and absolutely undefendable had nothing to do with that. But, if that is not the case, how dare they act so unethically and abandon their client, who is guilty of ethics violations.

That would be none, because I'm not a ****ing criminal and don't engage in any sleezy, dishonest dealings. The defense of, 'Uh, I didn't do it, so, look all you want because there's nothing there' is fairly cheap.

'Does this sound like it has a scintilla of due process?' You asked that following the official finding of guilt. A finding that was established by the members of the committee you used to chair, and is still controlled by your own party. Did you really just want to use the word 'scintilla' in a sentence so people were reminded that, though you were not morally robust, at least your vocabulary is still top notch?

In summation, you had the potential to let your body of good work be the defining characteristic of how history will remember you. Instead, you decided to be a lying, cheating, stealing sonofab***h. If I did that, I would be in jail, right now. You just lose a $174,000/yr job that 435 idiots can do, a job that district gerrymandering has guaranteed you would hold until you decided to retire. Do your decisions, in hindsight, seem to have a scintilla of common sense?

Now, please kindly F off and disappear from public view forever.